Things That Confuse Me (About Myself)

List # 25 | リスト＃25

Photo by Bozhin Karaivanov on Unsplash

1. Waiting, waiting, waiting for all the things that I wish I could do right now

2. Wasting, wasting, wasting time on things that are comforting/distracting

3. Letting technology sabotage and take over, my social connections but then feeling disconnected afterwards

4. Choosing to clean up my inbox instead of meditating every single morning. Every. Single. Morning.

5. Trying to avoid people on the street when I walk Cleo but then feeling socially isolated afterwards

6. “Glancing” at TikTok and then cursing at my phone an hour later

7. Barely eating and somehow still gaining weight or eating too much and not gaining any weight when I totally deserved it

8. Going back and forth between pride and embarrassment about my PhD knowing it was one of the most exciting and foundational periods of my life but also where I had the worst case of Stockholm Syndrome that lasted until I left academia

9. Having bougie tastes but not bougie income

10. Forgetting words I’ve used a million times but remembering the most recondite ones I’ve only seen in academic books I didn’t like and don’t remember. Perfect example: recondite